After experiencing a panic attack last week, I'm finally feeling a tad bit more in control of my situation, although, that could change in the blink of an eye!
Yes. I spent about 10 minutes one day last week unable to catch my breath, and then it took me about an hour to recover. I couldn't move a muscle. I just sat limp in a chair as
And yes, I am a control freak, but this is beyond crazy. My life is so completely and utterly out of control these days, that it takes all my energy just to walk across the room. Stress has rendered me completely useless at some points, and there are times when I feel as though I will fall asleep as I'm walking. I am utterly amazed at what stress can do to the human body, and I hope I never have to go through this again!!
It's not helping that in addition to moving to a new state, moving into a house that's half the size of our old house, homeschooling 5 out of 8 children, and dealing with contractors finishing our basement, Emily is back in Kansas (and has been for the last 11 days), and Allie is in complete and utter depression. So the help that I had hoped to have while trying to homeschool and unpack boxes is pretty much nonexistent!
Because the basement is still unfinished, it has made it almost impossible to finish up the unpacking as I have no idea what I will be able to put down there, and we have lots of Allie & Emily's things scattered on the main level. Our builder has told us he should be done in about 2 more weeks. The plumbing is complete, electrical done, and they are finally ready to sheet rock. That will help.
But instead of rambling on, as I'm quite certain this isn't making much sense to anyone, I'll just show you the pictures of where we're at exactly 2 weeks after the moving truck dumped our load!
Here's the gang watching the Super Bowl our first night in the new house...
First morning of homeschool....
Putting together Sophie's bed! It's actually Caleb's crib (which converts to a full-sized bed), but we gave his nursery set to Sophie- we've done a LOT of rearranging to make things fit in this house!
The boys enjoyed the ever-growing piles of boxes in the garage....
After setting our boxes at the curb, the garbage company decided not to take them after all, and we had to lug them all back up to the garage!
Here's my hearth/sunroom today....
We had to pull down all the blinds. The previous owners put up cheap, crappy blinds that don't fit, don't match and don't work!!! I am so mad! We're still debating what to do about it!
You can see the piles of things that still need to be put away, and I haven't done any decorating yet...
I did find some awesome pillows- they made my day, and that's saying a lot these days!
Another source of my stress....
The laundry room is so small that I've had to put clothes baskets in a closet across from the laundry room. It's killing me right now, but I know that I will eventually get used to it :/
The above shot is the hallway to the garage door, and the closet where the clothes baskets are is on the left side. The laundry room door is straight across the hall on the right.
There it is. It's so small that I can barely fit in it with the doors to the machines open. There is no folding counter and there is nowhere to store any laundry....clean or dirty.
The sink is tiny and the space below it is too small to store our plunger, laundry soap, or any of the other things we used to store below our sink.
Here's the kitchen. I'm thankful to have all my cupboards organized, but I did have to take piles and piles of things to Goodwill. No room.
The small kitchen desk won't ever be a desk and is currently housing our trash bag. Because there is no room in the kitchen to store trash, we are moving some drawers from beside the sink over to the desk area and they will go in the open space which will make room for a trash drawer or trash compactor by the sink- not sure which one yet.
The kitchen is small and cramped, but I'm doing my best to make it work.
Probably the worst space is our kitchen eating area. It won't hold our old table, so we bought this small table for breakfast and lunch and are planning to eat family dinners in our formal dining room. We do have 4 stools at the kitchen counter, so we can still seat 8 in the kitchen, but not the 10-12 that we used to be able to seat.
The living room is small. And it's still full of boxes.
The office is a mess, and we aren't able to unpack because the movers broke 2 sets of our bookshelves....joy.
The front porch does have two rockers and two wreaths! Progress!
The formal dining room. Small. Cramped. But we did find a new table that seats 10, and this is where we'll eat dinner.
We were so spoiled in our last house. Not only did we have about 7000 sq ft of living space, but we had 2 sets of staircases going from the main level to the upstairs, plus a really nice set of open stairs to the basement. This house has a scary, steep little staircase leading up, and the same kind of stairs going to the basement. And they're not carpeted, so we all hold on for dear life!
Allie is currently sharing a room with Jacob, so her bed is in the middle of the room. This means she is still living out of a suitcase and I can't finish decorating the room :/ Emily will be in here when she returns this weekend, but then she leaves again to go stay with my mom in Montana for 3 weeks, so she'll have her own room by the time she returns in March.
My room. I have several bruises from running into boxes in the middle of the night. Hoping to finally get something done in here this weekend.
Our last master was SO nice. Fireplace, tons of space. We loved that space. This room is not so big and is weirdly shaped. We bought a cheapy crib from Wal-Mart so we could keep Caleb in a crib for a few more months- he's just not ready for a bunk bed, but he will eventually share a room with Jacob.
I hate having our t.v. on the wall, but we couldn't fit a t.v. cabinet in our room, so I had to lose my mirror and do this instead :/
The top of Zack's dresser needs some work!
Josh has his own room- it's teeny-tiny, but it's his!
Matthew and Noah are sharing a room in our new house. We got a new set of bunk beds for them and the dressers are supporting the upper bunk....which is nice because there is no extra space for anything else in the room!
The playroom/schoolroom is my saving grace! It has great space and we will spend lots of time in here!
We plan to paint it this weekend and will have one wall completely covered in chalkboard paint. The other walls will have magnetic paint on them so we can hang our artwork :D
We have lots of space for the boys to do their schoolwork too!
My closet....currently holding everything that doesn't fit anywhere else in the house.....
Nightmare.
And finally, the basement....
We will have 2 bedrooms, a theater room, and a guest room/kitchen area down here. This is Emily's room....
Here's the theater! They hung the t.v. to be sure everything is working properly before sheetrock goes up....
And this will be the kitchen area. I will put a table in this room and we will also have a daybed. Sounds weird, but I think it's going to work out and will be a great space for the kids to hang out with friends or for guests to stay. The bathroom is on the other side of the kitchen.
And finally, the garage. Tiny....and full. Our second truck arrived on Tuesday this week and this is where all of our remaining shipment ended up! It's packed wall to wall!! And we can't do anything about it until the basement is done. Might as well order me a straight jacket now :/ We're having our builder build a shed to match the house because there is NO WAY our stuff is all fitting in this garage!
At least the kids have a new trampoline! We got a really nice one this time, and the kids have spent hours and hours on it. And it's a good thing, cuz there's no way they're ever getting their bikes out of that garage!!!
Hope I haven't scared you all to death. We'll survive....but it's definitely taking its toll. Prayers appreciated.
© 2011 
15 comments:
Breathe. It'll be OK. One day at a time. Focus on the positives. Zach has a job now. You obviously have money to do all the construction and furniture purchasing. I know bigger families than yours that would adore to have what you've got now. I know it's an adjustment, but you still have a large home and a lot of luxuries. Focus on the bright side, maybe on those non-carpeted stairs you could plan to use wall words. Kinda neat. It's not that you "were" blessed in the old house, Jenny, and now you are not blessed. You are still SO very blessed. Beyond belief, really. Think about this: Your biggest issue seems to be *stuff.* Stuff is stressing you out. Don't sweat the *stuff.* Before you know it you'll be settled. And the homeschooling - take it easy at first. They'll be OK - as long as YOU are OK. :)
I've never commented on your blog before, but I felt an urge to do it now. Not trying to chastise you, just trying to remind you that you are very fortunate. Your house, compared to many others, is spacious and beautiful. I understand that you have a large family and you are downsizing from an even bigger and more beautiful home, but many others lost they're homes. You're lucky that your husband found work as many other families in this economy are struggling to feed their children.
That being said, this is your outlet and you have your feelings and writing is a great way to relieve stress, but I don't feel bad you. You have a beautiful family and a beautiful home and are very fortunate. I don't remember how I cam across your blog but I have been reading for a while now and wish you comfort and relief in your new home.
Oh man, do I feel your pain!!! I am sorry that there are so many things to work around. My daughter lives in a large city and moved from one area to another last spring and it about did her in. Just the stress of to move or not, where to move to, which school is the best, then worrying about if they did the right thing. There area didn't have good schools and her kids were getting school age. She is one that likes to be in control of thing, too. She is finally on the mend nerve wise, but for a while I didn't know if it would happen. I might have been the same way as many folks would be. I'm glad you have a few areas that bring satisfaction to you. The next 2-3 may seem long, but I'm sure things will begin to fall in place more then. Don't forget to take care of yourself, so you can take care of the rest of the family.
I have been reading your blog for a long time. I love it. I thought your other house was beautiful. But I think this one is too. I am not trying to judge you here. I will tell you though that when we moved to another city about 1 hour away I was in a deep depression. We bought our first house and it isn't as big as the one you are in right now. But there was 4 of us to your 10. It was brand new and beautiful. I complained about where we moved. I missed my friends. Their weren't as many stores. ( I love to shop. ) Then, 9 months after we moved in. My 16 year old son was diagnosed with brain cancer. We moved to the Ronald McDonald house while my son spent 11 months in Children's hospital. Suddenly, my new house seem like a castle. Then he passed away. You Jen have 8 beautiful, healthy children. They all have a roof over their head and food on the table. Rejoice! As I know you do. You are such a sweet person, who is understandably stressed. It will all come together. HE has brought you this far.
Take care.
Cathy
And THIS is why I love having my blog! Thanks for all your comments.....PERSPECTIVE rules!!!!!!! You are all so right and I appreciate so much your words!!!!!!!
Put your boxes on Craigs list....someone else who is moving will likely snap them up. That is where my daughter got her boxes, then that is what she did to get rid of them. Take good care.
Hi Jenny! So glad you were feeling well enough to post! I've been looking everyday for a new post from you. The house is absolutely beautiful and it WILL come along! Personally, I'd drop most of the homeschooling...everything that needs your help can wait, the older kids can do some of their reading and work on their own. With that said, I gotta admit that the laundry room would completely do me in! My finished living space is about 4000 sq ft and I only have 3 kids but I have 2 laundry rooms (just got this!). My big family laundry room is in the finished basement and its huge and I take up every inch of space! Can you put a stackable in one of the upstairs bathrooms or halls to make it easier for bedrooms? Can u put a stackable in the basement for the girls? I don't know why on earth anyone ever thought the main laundry room needed to be a closet on the main floor away from all the bedrooms!!!
Like Heather said, just BREATHE and it WILL be ok! :)
Can't imagine what you are going through! but remember...life with fewer "things" is a better life! having a smaller home will force the kids to play outside more, go swimming (in your future pool!) and make relationships with neighbors! Your house is still HUGE compared to my house, and think about all those in the area without a home! You CAN get through this, and in a year from now, you'll be laughing at yourself :) Enjoy the ride, the company, and the OPPORTUNITY to decorate, organize and own a house.
I agree with everyone else. You are BEYOND fortunate. I also have a big family, six kids and we live in a 1600 sq ft, 3 bedroom 2 bath home. We have a "real" small kitchen (can't believe you consider yours small!), a dining room, and a laundry room. No basement, no huge closets, no storage areas. That is it. I know you are stressing with having so much clutter and nowhere to put everything but just keep remembering that you at least have all those things to call yours and you have this very big and nice house to put it all in, all in its own place (eventually!). Deep breath, everything will be okay!
Get that trash compactor, Girl! You will love it! I have always had one and I would not be without one, the best invention.
The desk area, I would remove this as it is tiny and replace with either large drawers, or maybe some shelving and large drawers for extra storage.
Deep breathing and carry on, you can do it!
First world problems.
Here is a pro tip for free - if you can afford the space for a home theatre room, you're not living in a small cramped house.
4000 square ft? You're kidding, right? Try 1200 sq ft. My daughter's room is 7ft by 10ft.
I would love your home, all 4000 sq ft of it.
*shakes head in disbelief*
I am a first time reader here at your blog..
Your new home is beautiful. I don't want to judge or be hurtful but you have so much to be thankful for! There are so many hurting people and those with much less nice and smaller homes in our economy these days!
My family included. We just moved to a home outside the city..it is MUCH smaller than yours but I look around and feel so thankful for our new country home and the opportunity to live simply and give Father glory for our lives.
Our home is 4 bdrms, most of them on the small size, with a dining room, nice kitchen and my favorite; two bathrooms!! :) There is also a small pantry and sunroom..
And so you know I understand needing space..I am the mama of 10 all still living at home and pregnant with #11!!
I guess this is just a gentle reminder from a fellow mama of many to remember that other large families (and small ones too) have less than you and to be sure to be thankful as the Word tells us too! :)
Much Love!!
And if you ever want to read I blog also..:)
http://lilliputians-livinginlilliput.blogspot.com/
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